2008 Woodie Awards
World Series champs: sneaky like snakes
Peter Locke
Issue date: 4/3/07 Section: Sports
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Exam week looms, and I'm in an absolute crunch, so from a monstrous weekend of sports, I'll quickly (or not so quickly) touch on the four most preponderant of sporting questions:
1) Is this Florida team historically good? I don't want to get hyperbolic on you here, but if they beat OSU (they will) they have to be in the all-time best college team conversation. They looked experienced, balanced, and tenacious against UCLA. Granted, Afflalo pulled a Houdini in the first half, but Florida (cliché alert) just has so many weapons. Brewer picked up his team in the first half, Lee Humphrey made it rain to open the second, and we haven't even mentioned the big man triumvirate of Chris Richard, Al Horford, and Noah, who is the face of this team. When Oden gets into foul trouble in the first half, who is going to put a body on any of those guys, Matt Terwilliger? Nope.
This is EXACTLY the type of year when I flash back to overlooking common sense and picking a Bill Self team to win at all and think: WHY NOT MAKE THE OBVIOUS DEFENDING CHAMPS THE PICK. Of course hindsight is 20/20, but foresight can be too if you're not such a dumbass about trendy picks and believing Digger Phelps. You'd think I would learn.
2) Can the Canadiens hold on to the last playoff spot? The Habs' last game of the season is against the hated Toronto Maple Leafs, and that could decide who…wait…please…don't skip to the next paragraph. I realize you don't know anything about hockey. And I don't blame the south for believing hockey is irrelevant, but I do blame "y'all" for somehow mistaking hockey's lack of popularity for a defect in the actual product. The NHL is fast, now features lots of scoring, and it's violent…why doesn't America buy into this? Isn't this why you crazy Americans like football, basketball, and even the Die Hard trilogy? It makes me want to vomit that NASCAR dwarfs hockey's popularity. "Y'all" need to get reprogrammed.
3) Who is going to win the World Series? OK, so it's sort of a preposterous question to be asking right now, considering the sport's parity, but baseball is my heroin, and I just can't get enough of it. The way I see it, there are three popular picks out there for team most likely to be soaked in champagne come October. Naturally, I think none of them have the "juice" (which is my term for championship vigor), and I will explain why. Advance apologies to those who think I'm going to tear down everyone else and pick the Cubs to win it all. I'm emotional, but not stupid. (Although we are only 16-1 to win the World Series. Not saying it will happen, but I have to have SOME reason to live, right?)
1) Is this Florida team historically good? I don't want to get hyperbolic on you here, but if they beat OSU (they will) they have to be in the all-time best college team conversation. They looked experienced, balanced, and tenacious against UCLA. Granted, Afflalo pulled a Houdini in the first half, but Florida (cliché alert) just has so many weapons. Brewer picked up his team in the first half, Lee Humphrey made it rain to open the second, and we haven't even mentioned the big man triumvirate of Chris Richard, Al Horford, and Noah, who is the face of this team. When Oden gets into foul trouble in the first half, who is going to put a body on any of those guys, Matt Terwilliger? Nope.
This is EXACTLY the type of year when I flash back to overlooking common sense and picking a Bill Self team to win at all and think: WHY NOT MAKE THE OBVIOUS DEFENDING CHAMPS THE PICK. Of course hindsight is 20/20, but foresight can be too if you're not such a dumbass about trendy picks and believing Digger Phelps. You'd think I would learn.
2) Can the Canadiens hold on to the last playoff spot? The Habs' last game of the season is against the hated Toronto Maple Leafs, and that could decide who…wait…please…don't skip to the next paragraph. I realize you don't know anything about hockey. And I don't blame the south for believing hockey is irrelevant, but I do blame "y'all" for somehow mistaking hockey's lack of popularity for a defect in the actual product. The NHL is fast, now features lots of scoring, and it's violent…why doesn't America buy into this? Isn't this why you crazy Americans like football, basketball, and even the Die Hard trilogy? It makes me want to vomit that NASCAR dwarfs hockey's popularity. "Y'all" need to get reprogrammed.
3) Who is going to win the World Series? OK, so it's sort of a preposterous question to be asking right now, considering the sport's parity, but baseball is my heroin, and I just can't get enough of it. The way I see it, there are three popular picks out there for team most likely to be soaked in champagne come October. Naturally, I think none of them have the "juice" (which is my term for championship vigor), and I will explain why. Advance apologies to those who think I'm going to tear down everyone else and pick the Cubs to win it all. I'm emotional, but not stupid. (Although we are only 16-1 to win the World Series. Not saying it will happen, but I have to have SOME reason to live, right?)
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