2008 Woodie Awards
The rules of cheating
Markheavens Tshuma
Issue date: 3/28/07 Section: Distractions
So I feel like every once in a while, people have those rare "ah ha!" epiphany moments. And it is those epiphany moments that makes us wiser as people. For instance, this past weekend, I was eating in D-Hall with my friends. I looked up and saw two notorious freshmen making out sketchily on the corner, and I thought to myself "people should not engage in PDA… in the D-Hall, where the rest of us eat." It was pretty vile, folks, I'm not gonna lie. But we'll talk more about that on a later date.
This week, I am definitely inspired by art. You see it was after George cheated on his wife in Grey's Anatomy this past weekend that a friend of mine and I had a heart-to-heart -- leading me to the question: What should one do after they've cheated on someone they care about?
So many times we focus on the cheatee, asking if they should leave or stay with the cheater. Should the cheatee forgive and forget? Can the cheatee ever trust the cheater again? Those questions will remain debatable until the end of time. Today, we wonder what the cheater should do. Though I don't advocate unfaithfulness, sometimes people have to do what they have to do. And when they have done what they do, they are faced with some very difficult decisions. I'm going to offer two pieces of priceless guidance here. Take it. Use it.
#1. To tell or not tell? Never under any circumstances should one ever confess to cheating on their significant other. This is infinitely different than cheating on an exam or paper, in which case the EC should be notified immediately. But we're talking boy/girl relations here. I'm thinking the rules are slightly different and the answer is simply, "don't do it." Think about it -- if Ross had never confessed to Rachel about sleeping with the waitress, Friends could have ended its run in four years as opposed to ten. Telling someone you cheated on them is a cop out -- it is your escape from having to evaluate your relationship. It is selfish. It forces that person to make the decision, leaving you off the hook. "Clearing your conscience" is simply a fancy way of saying, "I'm tired of feeling guilty." I propose that cheaters not tell cheatees that they have cheated. Live with your guilt… it's karma.
This week, I am definitely inspired by art. You see it was after George cheated on his wife in Grey's Anatomy this past weekend that a friend of mine and I had a heart-to-heart -- leading me to the question: What should one do after they've cheated on someone they care about?
So many times we focus on the cheatee, asking if they should leave or stay with the cheater. Should the cheatee forgive and forget? Can the cheatee ever trust the cheater again? Those questions will remain debatable until the end of time. Today, we wonder what the cheater should do. Though I don't advocate unfaithfulness, sometimes people have to do what they have to do. And when they have done what they do, they are faced with some very difficult decisions. I'm going to offer two pieces of priceless guidance here. Take it. Use it.
#1. To tell or not tell? Never under any circumstances should one ever confess to cheating on their significant other. This is infinitely different than cheating on an exam or paper, in which case the EC should be notified immediately. But we're talking boy/girl relations here. I'm thinking the rules are slightly different and the answer is simply, "don't do it." Think about it -- if Ross had never confessed to Rachel about sleeping with the waitress, Friends could have ended its run in four years as opposed to ten. Telling someone you cheated on them is a cop out -- it is your escape from having to evaluate your relationship. It is selfish. It forces that person to make the decision, leaving you off the hook. "Clearing your conscience" is simply a fancy way of saying, "I'm tired of feeling guilty." I propose that cheaters not tell cheatees that they have cheated. Live with your guilt… it's karma.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
You've Given Terrible Advice
posted 6/27/08 @ 1:09 PM EST
This article encourages people to allow their significant others to continue living the lie that the other person has been faithful. As much as it may seem that it is a selfish thing for the cheater to keep the secret, it's all the more selfish for the cheater to protect the secret against the significant other instead of discussing it WITH the significant other. (Continued…)
NYC
posted 7/09/08 @ 2:12 PM EST
I don't think that this is that bad advice. If I was cheated on, but it was just a one time thing, I don't think that I would want to know.
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