2008 Woodie Awards
How to be extreme
Austin Colpini
Issue date: 3/21/07 Section: Distractions
David Yancey's near death bungee-jumping mishap from the Washington statue brings to light the xtremeness we at W&L so strive to embody. The sophomore from Shreveport, LA has been temporarily crippled by what proved to be a crucial miscalculation in rope length. While few can hope to live up to a lifestyle as xtreme as David's, we have put come up with the basics to help become immortalized as the sweetest frat-star to roam the late-night dance floors.
Xtreme Hobbies: Quite simply, one can't hope to be achieve any level of xtreme without embracing a few essential pursuits. Regardless of whether or not you can actually snowboard, hunt, surf or club seals, it is important to show interest in these or any other xtreme and manly feats. The key here is to remember the key to being xtreme lies in going big or going home. Step everything up a notch. The bros of Red Square wouldn't be who they are today if they simply sat on the beach instead of cruising the sickest waves, or sledded instead of tearing up the most hardcore and remote slopes.
Xtreme Gear: After showing interest in an xtreme lifestyle, comes looking the role. Donning some sweet North-Face garb and Costas might be the best way to start. Never climbed a mountain or caught a fish? No worries, you have got the fratty threads made at extra costs for someone who has, and that in itself is xtreme enough. The winter term walks on the Colonnade can be chilly, but also exerting, so be sure to make it Gore-Tex if you're going to achieve maximum breathability and waterproofing. Take it up a notch and make sure your car lets people see your two sides of utility and sportiness which make you all around xtreme
Xtreme Competition: whether its suiting up for sweet lax or blasting some skeet in the country, the next step to being xtreme is playing the part. If you want to perform at your best, you need every edge you can find. NO XPLODE should take a significant role in your life not only because it begins with an X, but also because it can give you the xtreme muscles you so desire. One freshman football player demonstrates an early budding of xtreme by recommending to us a triple serving on days we rock the curls. Even sweeter are the skulls who xplod(verb) pre-game to present a collision of two things so XTREME that it must be written in all caps. Never fear if you left the cleats back in the glory days of high school; draining shots on the beer-pong table is xtreme enough to make you a legend.
It's a long hard road to living up to the prowess of all the xtreme and fratty dudes before you. Following these steps though makes a life of sweetness about as easy as DFMS at Chi-Psi late night, but without the next morning regrets.
Xtreme Hobbies: Quite simply, one can't hope to be achieve any level of xtreme without embracing a few essential pursuits. Regardless of whether or not you can actually snowboard, hunt, surf or club seals, it is important to show interest in these or any other xtreme and manly feats. The key here is to remember the key to being xtreme lies in going big or going home. Step everything up a notch. The bros of Red Square wouldn't be who they are today if they simply sat on the beach instead of cruising the sickest waves, or sledded instead of tearing up the most hardcore and remote slopes.
Xtreme Gear: After showing interest in an xtreme lifestyle, comes looking the role. Donning some sweet North-Face garb and Costas might be the best way to start. Never climbed a mountain or caught a fish? No worries, you have got the fratty threads made at extra costs for someone who has, and that in itself is xtreme enough. The winter term walks on the Colonnade can be chilly, but also exerting, so be sure to make it Gore-Tex if you're going to achieve maximum breathability and waterproofing. Take it up a notch and make sure your car lets people see your two sides of utility and sportiness which make you all around xtreme
Xtreme Competition: whether its suiting up for sweet lax or blasting some skeet in the country, the next step to being xtreme is playing the part. If you want to perform at your best, you need every edge you can find. NO XPLODE should take a significant role in your life not only because it begins with an X, but also because it can give you the xtreme muscles you so desire. One freshman football player demonstrates an early budding of xtreme by recommending to us a triple serving on days we rock the curls. Even sweeter are the skulls who xplod(verb) pre-game to present a collision of two things so XTREME that it must be written in all caps. Never fear if you left the cleats back in the glory days of high school; draining shots on the beer-pong table is xtreme enough to make you a legend.
It's a long hard road to living up to the prowess of all the xtreme and fratty dudes before you. Following these steps though makes a life of sweetness about as easy as DFMS at Chi-Psi late night, but without the next morning regrets.
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