2008 Woodie Awards
Lex and the City: Fancy Dress
Markheavens Tshuma
Issue date: 3/7/07 Section: Distractions
So I thought about not writing a column this week. I'm not gonna lie, I really contemplated it. The reasons were numerous- I had a ton of homework to do this weekend, I didn't really have any new material to write about, and I figured that everyone would be too excited about Fancy Dress to have any problems this week. I was wrong.
Apparently Fancy Dress excitement creates even more problems for people on our illustrious campus than your run of the mill event. For example, I didn't see people having coniption fits about what to wear when Busta Rhymes came. The reason FD is crazy is actually pretty simple- people need dates. Dates require some form of relation between the two sexes and anytime there is such relation, problems always occur. I am here to address those very problems.
Problem #1: You don't have a date.
Solution to problem #1: If you are reading this and this situation applies to you, let's not get it twisted- you are kind of in a pickle. But don't panic, there are certain things you can do to alleviate this situation. First of all, ladies, you need to rummage through your closet and find the most show-stopping outfits you've been waiting all year to wear. There are one or two days left before FD, so it is time for you to pull out all the stops. Talk to people. Find that guy whose best friend is looking for a date. Find that guy who has just been dumped by his girlfriend. Best yet, find that guy who's dating someone out of town and isn't importing her for the weekend- those are the easiest dates to pull off right before an event because the lack of expectations means there is no necessary prerequisite. It's a date of convenience. Who doesn't like convenience? Guys, grow a pair and ask someone to FD. There is no excuse. Really.
Problem #2: You realize, this close to FD, that you would rather not go with the person you are taking.
Solution to problem #2: This is an actual situation folks. It happens, probably more than you know. You ask someone one weekend, you meet someone else the next. You realize that the girl you've been facebook stalking all term is still dateless and growing more and more desperate by the hour. Or, you simply said yes to someone without consulting your better judgment. Either way, these situations can be rectified. First and foremost, scope out the situation. Talk to said date's friends and find out how excited they are about going with you. If they are excited, you don't wanna be the jackass who left them dateless at the last minute. Secondly, talk to them straight. It's harsh, but you have to be stern. Look them in the eye and say "Would you be opposed to not going with me to Fancy Dress?" You might get slapped for that. Which is why after that sentence, you offer an alternative. This may require a little pre-planning, but if you are really trying to find an out, find them a replacement date. People appreciate that. If all else fails, just make plans to meet up with the person you wanted to go with later on in the night- it sounds shady, but your date would much rather be ditched than jilted a day before and forced to go stag. You know it's true.
Apparently Fancy Dress excitement creates even more problems for people on our illustrious campus than your run of the mill event. For example, I didn't see people having coniption fits about what to wear when Busta Rhymes came. The reason FD is crazy is actually pretty simple- people need dates. Dates require some form of relation between the two sexes and anytime there is such relation, problems always occur. I am here to address those very problems.
Problem #1: You don't have a date.
Solution to problem #1: If you are reading this and this situation applies to you, let's not get it twisted- you are kind of in a pickle. But don't panic, there are certain things you can do to alleviate this situation. First of all, ladies, you need to rummage through your closet and find the most show-stopping outfits you've been waiting all year to wear. There are one or two days left before FD, so it is time for you to pull out all the stops. Talk to people. Find that guy whose best friend is looking for a date. Find that guy who has just been dumped by his girlfriend. Best yet, find that guy who's dating someone out of town and isn't importing her for the weekend- those are the easiest dates to pull off right before an event because the lack of expectations means there is no necessary prerequisite. It's a date of convenience. Who doesn't like convenience? Guys, grow a pair and ask someone to FD. There is no excuse. Really.
Problem #2: You realize, this close to FD, that you would rather not go with the person you are taking.
Solution to problem #2: This is an actual situation folks. It happens, probably more than you know. You ask someone one weekend, you meet someone else the next. You realize that the girl you've been facebook stalking all term is still dateless and growing more and more desperate by the hour. Or, you simply said yes to someone without consulting your better judgment. Either way, these situations can be rectified. First and foremost, scope out the situation. Talk to said date's friends and find out how excited they are about going with you. If they are excited, you don't wanna be the jackass who left them dateless at the last minute. Secondly, talk to them straight. It's harsh, but you have to be stern. Look them in the eye and say "Would you be opposed to not going with me to Fancy Dress?" You might get slapped for that. Which is why after that sentence, you offer an alternative. This may require a little pre-planning, but if you are really trying to find an out, find them a replacement date. People appreciate that. If all else fails, just make plans to meet up with the person you wanted to go with later on in the night- it sounds shady, but your date would much rather be ditched than jilted a day before and forced to go stag. You know it's true.
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