2008 Woodie Awards
Revenge of the Nerds: Lambda Lambda Lambda takes on the Alpha Betas
Theodosius Gerakitis and Johnny Utah
Issue date: 1/31/07 Section: Distractions
We're going out on a limb here and breaking down the much-hyped chaos that occurred on Saturday night. The polarizing question is whether or not this will up Kappa Sig's street cred. We'll try not to take sides, but if we piss you off, Kappa Sig, please write us an angry email, and don't show up and beat our asses.
The Motive
Afraid this one didn't cut it. Das Club may be in x number of days, so don't get pissy that SAE had a rave before you could. To be perfectly honest, raves aren't a patented idea here at school -- every frat has them. Never should a party theme come between fellow habitants of Windfall hill. That is, if Kappa Sig even qualifies. Their actions might actually erode them a little closer to Kappa Hill.
Kappa Sig following through on their threat.
Big Ups. We heard grumblings that this fracas may go down, but we weren't believers. The fact that they showed up and followed through probably means a couple more sorority girls will be moaning at Hobes this weekend.
Tearing down the decorations.
Big thumbs down. Even though pledges never do anything right, the decorations were impressive as hell. The destruction was unnecessary and after the decorations were ripped down, we realized you had ruined everyone's collective roll.
Real punches: a W and L first?
Street cred goes up on both sides for this on. George W. could follow Jordan Wesley's lead; nothing makes the troops happier than seeing the Prez on the front lines. Big ups for homeland defense.
Peacemakers? About as cool as cancer…
As we've mentioned, real fights are a rarity that deserved to be cherished. If people stepped in on the Thrilla in Manila, Ali never would have risen to God-like status. And there's nothing girls love more than a guy willing to break up a fight...not. When it comes down to it, nobody messes with dueling ravers. Anyone who got in the middle of these rowdy fratstars gets a huge thumbs down.
Bottom Line: Round Two is necessary
As Rocky Balboa showed us, a rematch is always necessary after an epic first bout. We propose the two sides show up, sans brass knuckles, on the Cannon Green at 8 pm on Wednesday night. Admission will be $5, but hopefully we'll also figure out a way to transmit it via pay-per-view. Ultimately, it was less impressive than Jello Wrestling. Nothing will ever top anything involving Beth Hunter. But at least you didn't hug afterwards.
The Motive
Afraid this one didn't cut it. Das Club may be in x number of days, so don't get pissy that SAE had a rave before you could. To be perfectly honest, raves aren't a patented idea here at school -- every frat has them. Never should a party theme come between fellow habitants of Windfall hill. That is, if Kappa Sig even qualifies. Their actions might actually erode them a little closer to Kappa Hill.
Kappa Sig following through on their threat.
Big Ups. We heard grumblings that this fracas may go down, but we weren't believers. The fact that they showed up and followed through probably means a couple more sorority girls will be moaning at Hobes this weekend.
Tearing down the decorations.
Big thumbs down. Even though pledges never do anything right, the decorations were impressive as hell. The destruction was unnecessary and after the decorations were ripped down, we realized you had ruined everyone's collective roll.
Real punches: a W and L first?
Street cred goes up on both sides for this on. George W. could follow Jordan Wesley's lead; nothing makes the troops happier than seeing the Prez on the front lines. Big ups for homeland defense.
Peacemakers? About as cool as cancer…
As we've mentioned, real fights are a rarity that deserved to be cherished. If people stepped in on the Thrilla in Manila, Ali never would have risen to God-like status. And there's nothing girls love more than a guy willing to break up a fight...not. When it comes down to it, nobody messes with dueling ravers. Anyone who got in the middle of these rowdy fratstars gets a huge thumbs down.
Bottom Line: Round Two is necessary
As Rocky Balboa showed us, a rematch is always necessary after an epic first bout. We propose the two sides show up, sans brass knuckles, on the Cannon Green at 8 pm on Wednesday night. Admission will be $5, but hopefully we'll also figure out a way to transmit it via pay-per-view. Ultimately, it was less impressive than Jello Wrestling. Nothing will ever top anything involving Beth Hunter. But at least you didn't hug afterwards.
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Alumnus
posted 2/02/07 @ 3:44 PM EST
What happened?
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