2008 Woodie Awards
Awkwardness in the Fitness Center
Ted Williams
Issue date: 1/31/07 Section: Back Page
Some people lift heavy weights, I prefer the advice of my good friend John Basedow when he said "Go with heart pumping cardio workouts that tone the body and the mind." I almost fell on the treadmill the other day which was terribly embarrassing. I was finished with my usual 12 mile run on speed 9.3 and I thought it would be clever to leave the treadmill by just stopping and then jumping off the back. I did this and it was not clever and almost broke my foot. Embarrassing. The fitness center is probably one of the funnier places on campus; here is why:
Old Men.
These are the random guys who you have no clue as to how they got into the fitness center in the first place, but are very concerned that they lift more weight that you. Do you think it feels good to leave a machine and then an old man increases the weight and does the exercise better? Well, it doesn't feel good. They also love to carry around the towels. I personally have never been a towel guy, but I do see the benefits. Furthermore, they sweat a lot which makes me feel stupid for not sweating and thus makes sense of our opposing towel usage policies.
iPod.
It is terrible awkward when you say "Hi" to somebody in passing but they have their iPod in. They then realize you are trying to say something and take the iPod out. These leaves you with no other option other than having a meaningless conversation with them when in fact you were just trying to be pleasant. Oh, and how about the losers that sing the words of their iPod songs during their workout? Almost as untrendy as attaching the heart monitor clips to your body on the tread mill.
Chalk.
If you use chalk, that means that you are a serious lifter. Don't get this confused with the pansy posers who wear little workout gloves. These chalkers are the real deal. They are the type of guys who are going to go butt heads and have a lunch conversation about what type of protein powder they use. I'll tell you that those hunks that use the belts and attach the chain and added weight plates for pull-ups and dips, those are the real guys.
Old Men.
These are the random guys who you have no clue as to how they got into the fitness center in the first place, but are very concerned that they lift more weight that you. Do you think it feels good to leave a machine and then an old man increases the weight and does the exercise better? Well, it doesn't feel good. They also love to carry around the towels. I personally have never been a towel guy, but I do see the benefits. Furthermore, they sweat a lot which makes me feel stupid for not sweating and thus makes sense of our opposing towel usage policies.
iPod.
It is terrible awkward when you say "Hi" to somebody in passing but they have their iPod in. They then realize you are trying to say something and take the iPod out. These leaves you with no other option other than having a meaningless conversation with them when in fact you were just trying to be pleasant. Oh, and how about the losers that sing the words of their iPod songs during their workout? Almost as untrendy as attaching the heart monitor clips to your body on the tread mill.
Chalk.
If you use chalk, that means that you are a serious lifter. Don't get this confused with the pansy posers who wear little workout gloves. These chalkers are the real deal. They are the type of guys who are going to go butt heads and have a lunch conversation about what type of protein powder they use. I'll tell you that those hunks that use the belts and attach the chain and added weight plates for pull-ups and dips, those are the real guys.
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