2008 Woodie Awards
Two Raging Intellectuals: A thank you letter to BUSTA
Colton Ward and Britt Staniar
Issue date: 1/24/07 Section: Distractions
Dear Busta Nut,
Thanks for coming to our campus last week. It was a blast having you here at William and Lee (at least that's what your DJ called us-over and over again). Just wondering, did you get a chance to use all those 50 some-odd condoms that you had to have in your dressing room during the three hours that you were on our campus? When it comes to an artist as hot as yourself, it has always got to be the rough riders.
But chances are, probably not -- we know that you had a lot of teaching to do at the philosophy classes that you were planning on attending. Unfortunately, I didn't get to make it to those talks. I hope I didn't miss a penetrating and enlightening discussion of the metaphysical and epistemological qualities of your hit song, "I Love My Bitch".
Oh, and it's okay that you didn't stay for any longer… We now realize that we should have known all the lyrics to your freshest tracks (well, some people told us that they thought you were still in jail for killing Tupac, but we set them in line). I'm sure you would have done a better job of singing your songs if we had actually sung them for you.
It makes us glad to think that the 50 grand that we paid you can go to help you out in that lawsuit that you're in right now. Jail time is for people who can't afford to pay their way out if it, and if Washington and Lee is willing to bring in as heavy a hitter as you are (pun intended), then there's no way you should ever get locked up.
Cause seriously, Busta Roll, I'm worried about you. Maybe all of that Jamaican food that we brought you in from Roanoke was just too tempting. I thought you might come out and give an encore or something, but apparently you were too fatigued. And then I thought you were going to come out to the after party with all of us, but you didn't show up to that either. That's a lot of time. You must have been pretty hungry.
But it was cool of you to judge our free-style rap battle anyway. I'm sure you can do a better job of analyzing us rap than Rolling Stone can do of your latest album, when they said, "Rhymes appears more moronically misogynous and yayo-crazed than ever." We just looked up misogynous, and it says that that means you hate women. But you can't hate women, you asked for all those condoms, right? You love women. You love your bitch. And as far as being "yayo crazed"? You're not nearly thin enough. Shows what Rolling Stone knows.
Anyway, it's gonna be a pretty lonely term this winter in Lexington now that you are gone. I might not hear another Busta song for another 6 years. But until then, keep in touch. Don't go disappearing again like you have done since the late 90's. Just know that you'll always have a special place, and a three-page list of items waiting for you in your dressing room, here at William and Lee.
Love,
The Ragers
Thanks for coming to our campus last week. It was a blast having you here at William and Lee (at least that's what your DJ called us-over and over again). Just wondering, did you get a chance to use all those 50 some-odd condoms that you had to have in your dressing room during the three hours that you were on our campus? When it comes to an artist as hot as yourself, it has always got to be the rough riders.
But chances are, probably not -- we know that you had a lot of teaching to do at the philosophy classes that you were planning on attending. Unfortunately, I didn't get to make it to those talks. I hope I didn't miss a penetrating and enlightening discussion of the metaphysical and epistemological qualities of your hit song, "I Love My Bitch".
Oh, and it's okay that you didn't stay for any longer… We now realize that we should have known all the lyrics to your freshest tracks (well, some people told us that they thought you were still in jail for killing Tupac, but we set them in line). I'm sure you would have done a better job of singing your songs if we had actually sung them for you.
It makes us glad to think that the 50 grand that we paid you can go to help you out in that lawsuit that you're in right now. Jail time is for people who can't afford to pay their way out if it, and if Washington and Lee is willing to bring in as heavy a hitter as you are (pun intended), then there's no way you should ever get locked up.
Cause seriously, Busta Roll, I'm worried about you. Maybe all of that Jamaican food that we brought you in from Roanoke was just too tempting. I thought you might come out and give an encore or something, but apparently you were too fatigued. And then I thought you were going to come out to the after party with all of us, but you didn't show up to that either. That's a lot of time. You must have been pretty hungry.
But it was cool of you to judge our free-style rap battle anyway. I'm sure you can do a better job of analyzing us rap than Rolling Stone can do of your latest album, when they said, "Rhymes appears more moronically misogynous and yayo-crazed than ever." We just looked up misogynous, and it says that that means you hate women. But you can't hate women, you asked for all those condoms, right? You love women. You love your bitch. And as far as being "yayo crazed"? You're not nearly thin enough. Shows what Rolling Stone knows.
Anyway, it's gonna be a pretty lonely term this winter in Lexington now that you are gone. I might not hear another Busta song for another 6 years. But until then, keep in touch. Don't go disappearing again like you have done since the late 90's. Just know that you'll always have a special place, and a three-page list of items waiting for you in your dressing room, here at William and Lee.
Love,
The Ragers
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