2008 Woodie Awards
Locke and the Bear: Do we get a mulligan for this one?
Peter Locke and Phil Broderick
Issue date: 1/24/07 Section: Distractions
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Retraction: Locke and the Bear would sincerely like to apologize for a mistake made in last week's column. We incorrectly abbreviated "possible hook-up" as "pos. hook." Instead, it should have read "poss hook." Again we apologize for the grievous error, it will never happen again. Special thanks to Niki Tsiknakis for pointing this out to us. We wish you many poss and fully realized hooks in the future.
Screw you, the first week of pledges. First of all, a thanks to Rizzo for articulating the sentiments about pledges held by many upperclassmen. A little hard work never hurt anyone. One of the problems with the first week of pledges, as we predicted last week, is the onset of epic laziness. This translates into a lot of things, but one of them is a noticeable lack of the fervent party spirit in Lexington. Last weekend was a little weak. We can do better.
Screw you, Lexington Lanes for closing. So, on the wings of magical pledgees, we haughtily took our business to Staunton Lanes. In Southern Virginia, Staunton Lanes is the PLACE TO BE on Thursday nights. League Night, in case you were wondering. We recommend getting there early, drinking heavily, and making sure you do NOT bring beer onto the wooden bowling surface. They're really touchy about this, especially if you do it repeatedly over extended periods of time right in front of them. They also have $1 games, and Phil rates their Chili Dogs as such: Tasty, no Stop-In, could do with more chili powder, unimaginative, but still a B+.
Screw you, Busta Rhymes. Your rhymes were busted!!!! OHHHHHH!!!!! If somebody paid me and my crew 55 LARGE to come rap for them, I would at least do them the favor of not being fat and maintaining my trademark dreads. Also, we both could not escape the feeling that you are a rapidly declining star, physically, artistically, and mentally. Bonus points are awarded to you for still being able to rap so fast we can't understand you, and starting Break Yo Neck 3 separate times in order to milk all you can from your has-been repertoire.
Screw you, the first week of pledges. First of all, a thanks to Rizzo for articulating the sentiments about pledges held by many upperclassmen. A little hard work never hurt anyone. One of the problems with the first week of pledges, as we predicted last week, is the onset of epic laziness. This translates into a lot of things, but one of them is a noticeable lack of the fervent party spirit in Lexington. Last weekend was a little weak. We can do better.
Screw you, Lexington Lanes for closing. So, on the wings of magical pledgees, we haughtily took our business to Staunton Lanes. In Southern Virginia, Staunton Lanes is the PLACE TO BE on Thursday nights. League Night, in case you were wondering. We recommend getting there early, drinking heavily, and making sure you do NOT bring beer onto the wooden bowling surface. They're really touchy about this, especially if you do it repeatedly over extended periods of time right in front of them. They also have $1 games, and Phil rates their Chili Dogs as such: Tasty, no Stop-In, could do with more chili powder, unimaginative, but still a B+.
Screw you, Busta Rhymes. Your rhymes were busted!!!! OHHHHHH!!!!! If somebody paid me and my crew 55 LARGE to come rap for them, I would at least do them the favor of not being fat and maintaining my trademark dreads. Also, we both could not escape the feeling that you are a rapidly declining star, physically, artistically, and mentally. Bonus points are awarded to you for still being able to rap so fast we can't understand you, and starting Break Yo Neck 3 separate times in order to milk all you can from your has-been repertoire.
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