2008 Woodie Awards
Go ask Allison: Former flames and walks of shame
"Allison"
Issue date: 1/24/07 Section: Distractions
- Page 1 of 1
Dear Allison,
My former flame came into my room the other day to say hi, and after he had left, I realized that he had dropped a condom on the floor. What does this mean? Do I return the condom? Does he want us get back together or is he throwing his new sex-life right in my face?
- Confused
Dear Confused,
Yes, he probably is throwing his new sex-life in your face. Although pledges are strongly recommended to carry condoms at all times, he probably noticed that it was missing. There could be several reasons for his actions:
1) He could still really like you and want to get together with you again, but is unsure of your feelings. He drops the condom, thereby forcing you to bring up the issue so he can figure out how you're feeling.
2) He could want to get back together with you, but strictly on a booty-call basis. The condom is a reminder that he is having sex with other people.
3) He simply wants to make sure you know that he is having sex with someone else. In both of the last two cases, he is trying to manipulate you into remaining in love with him.
So what should you do? First, evaluate how much you care about him in the first place. Do you actually want to get back together with him? Are you willing to hook up without having any sort of emotional attachment on his part? If the answer to those two questions is yes, or you're unsure, then go ahead, return the condom. Spark a conversation. Use the condom, and your discretion. If you don't want to get back together with him, or you don't think it's worth the emotional anguish he may cause, then your best bet is probably to avoid bringing the issue up with him at all. If he asks for the condom back, tell him you already used it. And maybe you should.
Dear Allison,
What is the proper way to act when caught on the Walk of Shame? How do you act when you're eating breakfast in someone else's clothes, and everyone knows it?
- Ashamed
Dear Ashamed,
Just act like there's nothing wrong. Whether you're wearing the same halter you were wearing last night, or whether you're dressed in flannels and a t-shirt that are too large for you, everyone knows why you're still around, so just pretend it doesn't bother you. If someone teases you, laugh with them. If someone asked what you were doing last night, give them the look that conveys what a ridiculous question that is. Acting embarrassed about where you spent the night will only reinforce your humiliation. It will also not make the person you were with very happy, since you appear to be completely embarrassed to have been with him. Sure, maybe you really did just sleep on his futon, but the more vehemently you tell people that, the less they're going to believe you. Don't act embarrassed, and soon you will cease to be embarrassed.
Got a question? Go Ask Allison. I think she'll know.
trident.askallison@gmail.com
My former flame came into my room the other day to say hi, and after he had left, I realized that he had dropped a condom on the floor. What does this mean? Do I return the condom? Does he want us get back together or is he throwing his new sex-life right in my face?
- Confused
Dear Confused,
Yes, he probably is throwing his new sex-life in your face. Although pledges are strongly recommended to carry condoms at all times, he probably noticed that it was missing. There could be several reasons for his actions:
1) He could still really like you and want to get together with you again, but is unsure of your feelings. He drops the condom, thereby forcing you to bring up the issue so he can figure out how you're feeling.
2) He could want to get back together with you, but strictly on a booty-call basis. The condom is a reminder that he is having sex with other people.
3) He simply wants to make sure you know that he is having sex with someone else. In both of the last two cases, he is trying to manipulate you into remaining in love with him.
So what should you do? First, evaluate how much you care about him in the first place. Do you actually want to get back together with him? Are you willing to hook up without having any sort of emotional attachment on his part? If the answer to those two questions is yes, or you're unsure, then go ahead, return the condom. Spark a conversation. Use the condom, and your discretion. If you don't want to get back together with him, or you don't think it's worth the emotional anguish he may cause, then your best bet is probably to avoid bringing the issue up with him at all. If he asks for the condom back, tell him you already used it. And maybe you should.
Dear Allison,
What is the proper way to act when caught on the Walk of Shame? How do you act when you're eating breakfast in someone else's clothes, and everyone knows it?
- Ashamed
Dear Ashamed,
Just act like there's nothing wrong. Whether you're wearing the same halter you were wearing last night, or whether you're dressed in flannels and a t-shirt that are too large for you, everyone knows why you're still around, so just pretend it doesn't bother you. If someone teases you, laugh with them. If someone asked what you were doing last night, give them the look that conveys what a ridiculous question that is. Acting embarrassed about where you spent the night will only reinforce your humiliation. It will also not make the person you were with very happy, since you appear to be completely embarrassed to have been with him. Sure, maybe you really did just sleep on his futon, but the more vehemently you tell people that, the less they're going to believe you. Don't act embarrassed, and soon you will cease to be embarrassed.
Got a question? Go Ask Allison. I think she'll know.
trident.askallison@gmail.com
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
vanya
Curious George
posted 1/28/07 @ 9:50 PM EST
I am really so curious, as my name suggests and fuels my unsatiable I&I (information and intrigue) hunger, so how exactly do you go about this routine you refer to as "hook[ing] up without having any sort of emotional attachment" in the drop-off-condom case? This is the legendary hookup-mortale trick, where you knock yourself out on Natty Light (c) beverages and you proceed to an oblivious episode of a My Wet Dreams, correct? Or is it a more recent and professional Williams school style of what-time-how-long-do-you-wanna-doit-lemme-check-my-midterm-schedule?
Very curious. (Continued…)
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